Happy Mother’s Day everyone. In honor of those very special women, today’s post takes a shift from our usual focus and talks specifically to Moms of Brides-to-be.
So your daughter (or son) is getting married. Congratulations! You have probably thought about this day for 20+ years, wondered who their spouse will be, imagined how beautiful/handsome they will look all dressed up, and cried over losing your sweet baby. I know I have and my kids haven’t made it out of elementary school.
What do you do now that the day is arriving? Here are a few tips to help you get through one of the most momentous days of your life.
1. Remember that the wedding will only last a day, but your relationship with each other will last a lifetime. When I got married I honestly sat around trying to think of one good thing about my Mother, and had trouble thinking of anything. Now, as a mom myself, I have a list a mile long of reasons I am grateful for her. Something comes over your brain when you are planning a wedding and I am sorry to say that brides often have trouble thinking of other people when they are overwhelmed with choices to make. Please don’t take it personally. It happens to the best of us. Remember that if you can show her how to ride through this difficult time with grace and compassion, she will be stronger for it.
2. Offer to help in any way that she/he needs. This is a hard one. Especially if you are an expert with flower arranging, or a decorator, or a photographer. Even though your taste is impeccable, it might be that the bride and groom need to make these aesthetic choices together in order to grow in their relationship. Which means you might be able to help them with their marriage by licking envelopes rather than trying to design and bake the wedding cake yourself. But when in doubt, offer to help.
3. Be ready to catch when things fall apart. Things will fall apart at one point or another. The wrong cake will arrive, the caterer will go out of business, the hotel will catch fire, etc. This is when Moms shine. We spend years washing boo boos, fixing scrapes, and kissing the hurt away. Don’t wait around hoping stuff will go wrong – so you can swoop in and fix it, but be ready to help at a moments notice. Consider carrying a stage manager’s kit the day of the wedding. In a theatre, the stage manager is the person in charge of fixing everything so that all the audience sees is a flawless performance. They often bring a kit, with duct tape, safety pins, needle and thread, sharpees, etc. You can do the same by bringing a wedding kit. Include clear tape, markers, paper, needle and white/black thread, extra buttons, bobby pins, hairspray, a pen, fabric glue, and anything else you can think of. If her dress gets a tear, you can whip out your needle or your glue and fix it. Hair falling down, grab a bobby pin. Knowing you have her back is going to help your baby enjoy the best day of her life.
4. If you live far away, volunteer for jobs that keep you in contact with the couple. Accepting RSVP’s is great for this, as you get to update the couple on who is attending and it keeps you in contact with them.
6. If you end up doing most of the work, check in with the Bride and Groom to confirm the choices you have made will suit them best.
7. Laugh a lot.
Getting married is a sacred journey: terrifying, wonderful, stressful, exciting, horrendous, and joyous. Watching your child take that journey… well there are no words that adequately express the experience. Love each other. Embrace your new child-in-law. Respect the adult you have raised. Most importantly, savor each moment.
You are the single most influential person in the life of your child, and you will always be. Way to go Moms. We salute you. And if you wanted to use your influence recommending Captured Emotions as the wedding photographer, well we would salute that too.